I appreciate your candor and I'm not surprised it has made you more approachable. I feel most people have an innate desire to want to help. In order to help we must connect. In order to connect we must relate. We all have a "dark side" and in you sharing yourself it allows others to feel safe with you. It allows them to also express themselves, and a bond, a connection no matter how big or small, is created. I appreciate your articles and I hope they continue to be as therapeutic as they are good. Very nice.
Thank you Jeff. That's dead on, thanks for framing it like this. Feels to me like those bonds you describe are what a good life is made up of. Thanks for reading!
I've been pondering a response for several days now. Let me say that I'm once again blown away by your honesty and your ability to put important truths into words.
The four reasons you list are all viable. But there's another one that I think is important. Mature adults (there are also plenty of immature adults,) like people with depth, people who think about life's conundrums and are willing to share honestly. They will reciprocate in kind, and then a true connection can be built. To put it a bit more crudely, people who aren't interested in who you are underneath the surface aren't worth being friends with anyway.
I remember briefly meeting that polite, soccer-playing teenager back in the 90's. I'm really glad I've had the chance to get to know you on a very different level! Your articles resonate with me deeply, please keep writing!
Thank you! I've really appreciated having you here, I do vaguely remember that brief meeting way back in Oxnard so long ago.
Yeah I'm sure what you mention is part of it. There's perhaps a self-selection going on or something, where those who are in a place in life to resonate with what I'm saying are connecting with me. I certainly wouldn't have been in a place to either write (or read) this for most of my life. Though I wonder how many people, even those who struggle with depth and honesty, still at least crave it a some level, even if they have a hard time admitting that?
Oh, I know there are. In the six years that I had a counseling practice (before I let photography take over entirely) I was moved by how people would come because of something that had changed in their lives (losing a job, losing a partner, etc.) or simply a sense that something had to change in their lives. They were willing to go far deeper than they'd ever gone before.
I'm also convinced that witnessing your courage and ability to show your vulnerability is inspiring to many people who have an deep-seated longing they're not quite aware of yet. You're planting seeds that may come to fruition.
Oh, and something I've been meaning to mention but keep forgetting. Gabor Maté talks about 'compassionate self-enquiry,' which is an important key to healing. This practice has helped me get back on my feet more than once. You've managed to figure it out, partly through your mindfullness practice and partly through your writings here. My deep resect for that.
I really need to read more of his work, thank you for reminding me about him. I do have to give credit to my first therapist for teaching me the "compassionate" part of the self-enquiry, that was such a key for me as well.
I've seen so many people mocked and put down when they're vulnerable on the internet. In other words, I think the middle school bully mentality gets carried into adulthood for some. Have you run into that with your writing? I think Substack is one of the best platforms because it doesn't appear to attract the kind of person who pounces on others' vulnerability.
Yeah, thanks for mentioning this. I've been quite surprised by the reception here, I really haven't gotten any trolling or mocking comments (so far.) I'm sure that's partly to do with Substack, and who I've chosen to share the newsletter with. Although while I started sharing it very carefully, and at this point I've pretty much opened it up (even posting on facebook and linked in about it). I'm absolutely sure there are some few unfortunately people out there who would take some odd joy in jumping on my vulnerability, guess they just haven't found me yet. I did share some of my posts on some other news aggregators (HackerNews especially), and got some pretty odd and unkind (although mostly just hard to understand) comments, but generally the reception was extremely positive, so those felt like such a rarity it was fairly easy to ignore them.
I dunno, I'm happy for how this has turned out so far. I won't be surprised if it changes a little, if my subscriber-ship continues to grow. Definitely not what I was expecting, but grateful for it.
I appreciate your candor and I'm not surprised it has made you more approachable. I feel most people have an innate desire to want to help. In order to help we must connect. In order to connect we must relate. We all have a "dark side" and in you sharing yourself it allows others to feel safe with you. It allows them to also express themselves, and a bond, a connection no matter how big or small, is created. I appreciate your articles and I hope they continue to be as therapeutic as they are good. Very nice.
Thank you Jeff. That's dead on, thanks for framing it like this. Feels to me like those bonds you describe are what a good life is made up of. Thanks for reading!
Yep, been there done that so many times. Your posts may well be hard to write but sometimes they are hard to read because they hit home so many times.
Thanks Steve. It's good to have you here reading them.
Facades take too much effort to maintain.
I've been pondering a response for several days now. Let me say that I'm once again blown away by your honesty and your ability to put important truths into words.
The four reasons you list are all viable. But there's another one that I think is important. Mature adults (there are also plenty of immature adults,) like people with depth, people who think about life's conundrums and are willing to share honestly. They will reciprocate in kind, and then a true connection can be built. To put it a bit more crudely, people who aren't interested in who you are underneath the surface aren't worth being friends with anyway.
I remember briefly meeting that polite, soccer-playing teenager back in the 90's. I'm really glad I've had the chance to get to know you on a very different level! Your articles resonate with me deeply, please keep writing!
Thank you! I've really appreciated having you here, I do vaguely remember that brief meeting way back in Oxnard so long ago.
Yeah I'm sure what you mention is part of it. There's perhaps a self-selection going on or something, where those who are in a place in life to resonate with what I'm saying are connecting with me. I certainly wouldn't have been in a place to either write (or read) this for most of my life. Though I wonder how many people, even those who struggle with depth and honesty, still at least crave it a some level, even if they have a hard time admitting that?
Oh, I know there are. In the six years that I had a counseling practice (before I let photography take over entirely) I was moved by how people would come because of something that had changed in their lives (losing a job, losing a partner, etc.) or simply a sense that something had to change in their lives. They were willing to go far deeper than they'd ever gone before.
I'm also convinced that witnessing your courage and ability to show your vulnerability is inspiring to many people who have an deep-seated longing they're not quite aware of yet. You're planting seeds that may come to fruition.
Oh, and something I've been meaning to mention but keep forgetting. Gabor Maté talks about 'compassionate self-enquiry,' which is an important key to healing. This practice has helped me get back on my feet more than once. You've managed to figure it out, partly through your mindfullness practice and partly through your writings here. My deep resect for that.
I really need to read more of his work, thank you for reminding me about him. I do have to give credit to my first therapist for teaching me the "compassionate" part of the self-enquiry, that was such a key for me as well.
I've seen so many people mocked and put down when they're vulnerable on the internet. In other words, I think the middle school bully mentality gets carried into adulthood for some. Have you run into that with your writing? I think Substack is one of the best platforms because it doesn't appear to attract the kind of person who pounces on others' vulnerability.
Yeah, thanks for mentioning this. I've been quite surprised by the reception here, I really haven't gotten any trolling or mocking comments (so far.) I'm sure that's partly to do with Substack, and who I've chosen to share the newsletter with. Although while I started sharing it very carefully, and at this point I've pretty much opened it up (even posting on facebook and linked in about it). I'm absolutely sure there are some few unfortunately people out there who would take some odd joy in jumping on my vulnerability, guess they just haven't found me yet. I did share some of my posts on some other news aggregators (HackerNews especially), and got some pretty odd and unkind (although mostly just hard to understand) comments, but generally the reception was extremely positive, so those felt like such a rarity it was fairly easy to ignore them.
I dunno, I'm happy for how this has turned out so far. I won't be surprised if it changes a little, if my subscriber-ship continues to grow. Definitely not what I was expecting, but grateful for it.