If only we all could find this humane treatment of of ourselves:
“I even began to see myself as that close friend, worthy and deserving of my love. Someone I could champion in his good moments, comfort in hard times, and hold accountable because I knew he could make mistakes but had a good core and was always capable of being better.”
This resonated with me and was beautifully written. So true that it's not about will power. Talking to ourselves as we would a close friend is easier said than done, but I think you just walked us through it.
Love all of your posts, but this one especially resonated! Love this line: "I’m still in awe, AND A TAD ANNOYED [lol!], by the simplicity of the mental subterfuge employed by my therapist to finally get me to see my internalized hatred for what it was." Amazing. Your therapist's tool seems so simple in hindsight, but what a gamechanger for so many of us! This tool was the first crack in that hard self-critic exterior I held on to for so long - phew! Have you done any Internal Systems Theory work with your therapist (or seen the book No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz)? IFS work has taken me to another level with all of this, and I'm slowly, gasp!, even finding some compassion for my inner critic/bully - mind boggling but so softening and compassionate, not just for me but for my people, too. Thanks for continuing to share so honestly - it's inspiring.
Thank you Brieanna! Yeah such a great tool, and I keep coming back to it (and recommending it to others!) I've done quite a bit of IFS, and I'm a huge fan. I do have a hard time putting it into words, thus I haven't yet brought it up as a topic, but I do find myself recommending it all the time. IFS/EMDR have been game changers for me - and it sounds like for a similar reason to what you mentioned. IFS has finally let me understand myself, and why I tend to do things that feel contradictory to my interests. So much easier (and more fruitful) to have compassion for my parts vs. just berating myself. I also love that IFS feels so accessible, to the point where I can make progress with myself at home, without always having to spend time with a therapist. Such good stuff.
If only we all could find this humane treatment of of ourselves:
“I even began to see myself as that close friend, worthy and deserving of my love. Someone I could champion in his good moments, comfort in hard times, and hold accountable because I knew he could make mistakes but had a good core and was always capable of being better.”
Very well said.
This resonated with me and was beautifully written. So true that it's not about will power. Talking to ourselves as we would a close friend is easier said than done, but I think you just walked us through it.
Thank you! And yeah, way easier said than done.
Thanks, Patrick, for sharing this. It hits home. I’ll have to try this out on myself.
Thank you Nate! Hope giving it a try works out for you.
Love all of your posts, but this one especially resonated! Love this line: "I’m still in awe, AND A TAD ANNOYED [lol!], by the simplicity of the mental subterfuge employed by my therapist to finally get me to see my internalized hatred for what it was." Amazing. Your therapist's tool seems so simple in hindsight, but what a gamechanger for so many of us! This tool was the first crack in that hard self-critic exterior I held on to for so long - phew! Have you done any Internal Systems Theory work with your therapist (or seen the book No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz)? IFS work has taken me to another level with all of this, and I'm slowly, gasp!, even finding some compassion for my inner critic/bully - mind boggling but so softening and compassionate, not just for me but for my people, too. Thanks for continuing to share so honestly - it's inspiring.
Thank you Brieanna! Yeah such a great tool, and I keep coming back to it (and recommending it to others!) I've done quite a bit of IFS, and I'm a huge fan. I do have a hard time putting it into words, thus I haven't yet brought it up as a topic, but I do find myself recommending it all the time. IFS/EMDR have been game changers for me - and it sounds like for a similar reason to what you mentioned. IFS has finally let me understand myself, and why I tend to do things that feel contradictory to my interests. So much easier (and more fruitful) to have compassion for my parts vs. just berating myself. I also love that IFS feels so accessible, to the point where I can make progress with myself at home, without always having to spend time with a therapist. Such good stuff.