11 Comments

Thank you so much for taking the time and care to share this piece. I know it takes a toll, and it is such a gift. You've been through so much that most will never know. Thank you.

I have never done EMDR (I'm too afraid of it) but I have done somatic therapy and I am astounded by it. I'm so much in my head, that inhabiting my body on purpose is new and strange. But it is wonderful, too. I never had so much respect for all I've been through. I honestly didn't know I carried it for decades.

May you continue to know peace in your body, life, mind, and energy. I also respect your decision to share bi-weekly instead of weekly. It's interesting to realize that we have to protect our ability to rest between shares. I relate.

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Thank you so much Allison! Totally agree on somatic therapy. I spent so much of my life as a complete intellectualizer (and let's be honest, pretty skeptical of anyone telling me to listen to my body). Reading The Body Keeps the Score completely blew my mind. I've never related so much to a subject I had completely dismissed for decades. I've also become a huge proponent of IFS therapy for similar reasons. Entire new way of looking at my experience that completely clicks, and I had no idea was even an option.

And thank you for bringing up the idea of respect for oneself, I didn't tap into that while writing this, but it feels really good to sit with.

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Yes to all of this! I've never read that book either but I've heard so much about it. Something in me is afraid. But I'm taking it all slow and steady. It really helps to be able to follow your journey. I am also very interested in IFS... it feels less scary to me, more soft and tender. I guess we can only take what we can take, right. You are brave beyond.

I'm so glad it feels good to sit with respect. I never knew the meaning the way I know it now. Thank you again, sincerely.

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Oct 26Liked by Patrick Maguire

Maybe this is why when I asked you about your past, the response seemed like a cover story. The brief overview sounded like there are interesting stories there but at the same time you seemed unenthusiastic about the subject.

I think it was with you where we had a discussion about living without refrigeration and you said you did it. You cooked beans once a week and re-boiled them every day to make them safe for consumption. I imagined that and recalled it several times to help put things in perspective for me.

Let's pretend that I have a friend that had some traumatic experiences. Is it rude to ask them about it?

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Hey good to see you here man, thanks for subscribing, and I appreciate the questions.

Hah yeah I bet I was deflecting your question bit back then, or at least just answering in a way that felt ok for me at the moment. I could definitely see myself coming across as unenthusiastic when I just really didn't feel like getting into the details.

I've definitely told that bean story many times though, nothing inauthentic there. But also nothing traumatic either. Perhaps that felt like a good way for me to share something true without having to get too deep?

So I can only really answer your question from my perspective, but I'll give it a shot. I definitely don't find it rude to ask about it. But, as with anything, it depends on the context. So, if let's say just the two of us were hanging out, and had been chatting awhile, and you were to ask: "Hey, I know you spent some time in Sudan, and I heard you mentioned going through some tough stuff there. I'm curious and I'd love to hear a bit more about that, if you'd be willing to share." In that case, I wouldn't find it rude at all, and very well might be ok getting into it.

On the other hand, let's say we just met, we're at a bar with a bunch of people, and you yell across the table: "HEY DUDE TELL ME ABOUT THAT SHIT THAT HAPPENED IN SUDAN! SOUNDS CRAZY MAN!". I'm pretty much guaranteed to not answer, or to just make up some story to deflect.

Obviously those are extreme examples, but that's how I generally feel about it. Genuine curiosity, expressed kindly, makes me want to engage. Morbid curiosity from strangers, especially in groups, makes me want to shut down.

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Sep 30Liked by Patrick Maguire

Wow, thanks so much for sharing so honestly. The Body Keeps the Score is no joke, and I’m amazed to read about your experience with EMDR - incredible. Thrilled to hear it was so impactful for you. Keep doing the next right thing for you - it’s so inspiring to learn about your journey to yourself.

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Thank you Brieanna! So glad to have you as a reader!

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Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing this! I also love for you that you’re taking care of yourself by writing every other week from now on.

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Thank you Hanna!

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Sep 26Liked by Patrick Maguire

I did a different style of EDMR early in therapy for my TBI, and had a similar experience of amazement that it worked. Even when the memories were hazy and I couldn’t recall the full story, I was able to sit in the feelings and safely process them (mine were related to complex PTSD with childhood trauma). Now, those emotions are less intense - and something has shifted internally. The Body Keeps The Score and EDMR have truly been one of the more impactful tools I’ve discovered and I’m so glad they’ve helped you too.

I really enjoy reading your writing Patrick - it’s well thought out and meaningful, and it feels so valuable to share your experience and reality. Thanks for being a great example for vulnerability and growth!

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Thank you so much Christy. And thanks for sharing about your experience with EMDR, I'm curious to hear more about the style you experienced sometime. Totally get that "something has shifted internally" sense. So hard to put my finger on what exactly it is, but the shift is real. Happy to have you as a reader!

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