Thank you, Patrick, for sharing your experience and this view of it. I get stuck in ways similar to what you describe, and I've never known someone else that has quite that reaction. In fact I've been pretty stuck this last week, but hearing your thoughts and experiences has helped me start moving toward connection again. Thanks for the reminder to continue finding ways to give myself grace, even when doing that might look different than the last time around. Maybe we can talk more at some point.
In my world, the past few days have felt INCREDIBLY stagnant and stale, and I’ve been growing increasingly frustrated with my current reality. One thing I can assure you did by writing this post was provide me with the reminder that I’m not alone in my experiences of “lack of creativity” and maybe “shame or guilt for not living at the top of the ladder” currently. So, thank you Patrick, for just doing the damn thing anyway. 😉
Aww Sierra sorry to hear things have been going that way lately. Really happy you're feeling a little seen in this post at least, you're absolutely not the only one struggling with this stuff.
I LOVE the ladder, I need to print that out for myself. One of the very first images that really helped me understand what living with Anxiety is was labeling those low points as “doom spiral” or “falling into the bottom of a pit”. Now many years of therapy and much more nuanced images and tools to help myself feel, label, and cope later, that ladder image is so exactly what I was picturing back then but with the physiological connections labeled as well. Dang. So good.
Thank you! Yeah it's been such a helpful framework for me, and the engineer/skeptic in me has really found the physiological connections valuable. Generally, polyvagal theory has been something I wish I knew about years and years ago. Such a constantly good source for understanding "oooh right that's why I'm doing this thing right now" .
Thank you for sharing yourself so honestly, Patrick. I believe that what you wrote today supports your overall goal: creating a safer world for people to be vulnerable, to say “I just can’t today”, to normalize that sometimes the bandwidth just isn’t there to contribute to our long term goals. Thank you.
To address a specific bit: “...knowing I probably won’t get attacked while being so vulnerable...”
Resilience is built by experience. You might get attacked! As you build a following, somebody someday is going to post something thoughtless and hurtful. And on the other side of processing that shitty response, you’ll be stronger, more resilient, more confident. ❤️
I hear you on the vulnerability. Once I shared a vulnerable piece then later took it down. This was despite having received multiple messages of genuine appreciation for it. I knew what happened to people who are vulnerable on the internet.
Yeah that struggle is real. Amazed by how easy it is for me to not internalize positive feedback. And when I am deeply vulnerable, wondering "What have I done!" for days afterwards.
"My hands are squirming cats trying to be held but insistent on escape." Great analogy of 50% of my day.
That sentence stood out to me too, Scott!
Thank you, Patrick, for sharing your experience and this view of it. I get stuck in ways similar to what you describe, and I've never known someone else that has quite that reaction. In fact I've been pretty stuck this last week, but hearing your thoughts and experiences has helped me start moving toward connection again. Thanks for the reminder to continue finding ways to give myself grace, even when doing that might look different than the last time around. Maybe we can talk more at some point.
In my world, the past few days have felt INCREDIBLY stagnant and stale, and I’ve been growing increasingly frustrated with my current reality. One thing I can assure you did by writing this post was provide me with the reminder that I’m not alone in my experiences of “lack of creativity” and maybe “shame or guilt for not living at the top of the ladder” currently. So, thank you Patrick, for just doing the damn thing anyway. 😉
Aww Sierra sorry to hear things have been going that way lately. Really happy you're feeling a little seen in this post at least, you're absolutely not the only one struggling with this stuff.
I LOVE the ladder, I need to print that out for myself. One of the very first images that really helped me understand what living with Anxiety is was labeling those low points as “doom spiral” or “falling into the bottom of a pit”. Now many years of therapy and much more nuanced images and tools to help myself feel, label, and cope later, that ladder image is so exactly what I was picturing back then but with the physiological connections labeled as well. Dang. So good.
Thank you! Yeah it's been such a helpful framework for me, and the engineer/skeptic in me has really found the physiological connections valuable. Generally, polyvagal theory has been something I wish I knew about years and years ago. Such a constantly good source for understanding "oooh right that's why I'm doing this thing right now" .
Thank you for sharing yourself so honestly, Patrick. I believe that what you wrote today supports your overall goal: creating a safer world for people to be vulnerable, to say “I just can’t today”, to normalize that sometimes the bandwidth just isn’t there to contribute to our long term goals. Thank you.
To address a specific bit: “...knowing I probably won’t get attacked while being so vulnerable...”
Resilience is built by experience. You might get attacked! As you build a following, somebody someday is going to post something thoughtless and hurtful. And on the other side of processing that shitty response, you’ll be stronger, more resilient, more confident. ❤️
Love that framing, and feels so true... getting through is only gonna make me more resilient.
I hear you on the vulnerability. Once I shared a vulnerable piece then later took it down. This was despite having received multiple messages of genuine appreciation for it. I knew what happened to people who are vulnerable on the internet.
Yeah that struggle is real. Amazed by how easy it is for me to not internalize positive feedback. And when I am deeply vulnerable, wondering "What have I done!" for days afterwards.
Beautifully said and really helpful to hear today. Thank you.
Thank you Colette!
You’re still doing it when it’s the last thing you want to do. That’s the real accomplishment! Great post.
Thank you!